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  • Parker Beauregard

Minneapolis Reports Violent Carjackings Are Up 537% This Year; I Hope It Goes Higher


Minneapolis residents, like the droves of fleeing Californians, refuse to learn from experience. They vote for fools, get foolish policies, and act surprised when their voting habits produce utter garbage.


An article from December 1st in the Minneapolis Star Tribune ran a headline declaring that a “Staggering” surge in violent carjackings continues across Minneapolis. This was entirely predictable and avoidable, but residents quoted in the piece wanted to support the police reform efforts after the George Floyd overdose. Well, they are living through police reform and don’t like it. This is further proof that however long the phrase “they want to have their cake and eat it too” has been around, this is latest evidence that it hasn’t been around long enough.


I don’t know how to help some people anymore. My father-in-law is going on 50 years of hard smoking and drinking habits, and unfortunately looks like a man decades older. It’s as if he drank from the wrong chalice when searching for the Holy Grail. The only difference is he won’t fly against a wall and burst into dust. At the risk of sounding cavalier toward his wellbeing, he knew these vices increased the risks of declining health. He knew his habits were harmful and partook in them anyway.


A majority of Star Tribune readers probably see that headline and feel empathy toward the urban and hipster denizens in the dystopian city of Minneapolis. But for the juvenile voters masquerading as adults in Minneapolis, I just can’t care anymore. If my father-in-law wants to smoke for half a century, it doesn’t affect me. I only ask that he not exhale in my kid’s face. These voters, though, directly impact my wellbeing and the safety I should be able to take for granted as an American.


When Minneapolis children vote down-ticket Democrat and violate previously understood coronavirus social norms because a black man ingested 11 grams of Fentanyl (prior to resisting the same commands his two friends did, it should be noted), then I have a problem with their woe-is-me yarn.

Sorry, butI ain’t buying it. To top it all off, they made the world a worse place for everyone. My police are gone, and my taxes are going up to pay for the damages of weeks of looting and rioting. I did my part by voting for Donald Trump in 2020; I don’t think they can say the same thing.


I don’t know what it will take for people to wake up to the fact that humanity is not basically good, nor is the human condition one of pleasantries. We are beyond spoiled in America, which has made the previous points difficult to comprehend. Making the world a better place is not as easy as eliminating police in order to eliminate crime. I presume those secular leftists hold White Fragility in higher regard than the Bible, so they wouldn’t know that the very first human beings walked in sin. Eve violated the order to stay away from a single tree, and one of her sons murdered the other one. A lot of good has come from humanity at the expense of horrific evils.


It is worth pointing out the obvious that there were no police when just four humans inhabited the earth. Even then, violent crime was present.


As a God-fearing man, I hesitate to have the audacity to hope for more carnage. It is not the Christian way. I certainly don’t celebrate when it happens. To read about old women being battered across the head makes me sick. I can only imagine these are the same grandmas for whom we endlessly lockdown, and then wonder why some policies are vital for grandmother’s survival and others are not.


In addition to frail and helpless old women, the subhuman animals that perpetrate these attacks also target single women. This is worth mentioning because the policies of defunding the police directly impact the fairer sex. It also contradicts what leftists tell us; I thought Trump hated women. Never mind that his staunch support for law and order would reconcile this ugly truth of women being necessarily harmed. Then again, Kamala Harris visited the rapist Jacob Blake in the hospital and was still elected, so I will not hold my breath for accountability.


Here we are then. Even though grandmas and moms and aunts and sisters and single women are all being violently attacked and carjacked in record high numbers, my only response is: Too bad. I do not have the emotional strength to continue feeling sorry for people that have an air of moral superiority, vote Democrat, and then reap the lawless fields that were sown. It is time for tough love.


Remember my grandfather? When my wife and I announced we would be having a child - their first grandbaby - he quit smoking cold. It was probably hell for him. The drinking never stopped, and the illegal and immoral lockdowns eventually produced such boredom for the physically limited man that he unfortunately picked up his former tobacco habit again. Ultimately, though, no amount of speechifying from his wife or medical evidence from his doctor propelled him to change. He wanted to be around for our baby girl and evolve from Dad to Grandpa.


We are so glad he did. When will the residents of Minneapolis realize they want to become their own proverbial grandpa?


Barack Obama reminded Republicans in 2012 that elections have consequences. It might be the only thing he ever said that was true. Elections do have consequences. If Minneapolis residents want to continue watching their wives get carjacked outside their home or watch a car of young black youths screech to halt in the middle of a road in an already-stolen car and fire bullets into a driver-side window in an attempt to steal another car, then by all means, reelect Keith Ellison’s son for City Council, reelect all of the Democrats for City Council, Keith Ellison has Attorney General, Jacob Frey as Mayor, and Tim Walz as Governor.


My guess is the 537% surge is not enough. Maybe when the violent crime rates spike to over 1,000% or 2,000% percent of previous rates, then some loyal leftists will try thinking for themselves.


But probably not.

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